Sending a Brick Home, a Beating from the Wife and Cocks in Frocks! – Goodbye Asia! – Day 248 – 23 September

We awoke with quite mixed feelings today as this would be our last full day in South East Asia, now this assumes that everything would go well tomorrow, which ….. well that is literally the story for and about a very different day and I shall not spoil it now!

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Colourful and Noodleful but not really a part of today’s little adventure!

Now if you have followed our travels and paying attention (lol) you would realise that we move on quite regularly and sometimes require great speed, what you will not have guessed at is that whilst over here I have still enjoyed a little pastime that I used to partake in back home – Leaflet Hoarding! So whilst we have been travelling from country to country I have been collecting the odd leaflet in my backpack, squirrelling them away for a rainy day. Well today we had decided to do a spot of housekeeping, you know send letters to the kids, postcards to the adults and one of the main things which had to go was my ‘stash’ – aka The Brick! Now even though I may have curbed my leaflet gathering instincts, I think I do this in order that I can make myself a leaflet ‘nest’ in the outcome of a war or some equally horrendous emergency! Well ‘we’ had built up a sizeable brick which needed sending home, the size of it being about 2Kg or so the young fellow at the Thai Post Office said when he dropped it on one of his feet – Ouch!

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My wife has a strange bowling style and even bowls in the wrong direction – and she still beat me!! Pah!

The trip to the MBK mall to post my brick was nice enough for a city but it is a busy old place and feeling not a little subdued due to our imminent departure from Asia, we decided to spend a bit of time and money here just milling about, distracting ourselves I suppose. By this time it was starting to feel like we were nearing the end of one stage and needed to get moving on towards the next. So in the mall we treat ourselves to a game of ten pin bowling which Liz beat me at! Argh the ignominy of it all … lol! Then we had a go at a motorcycle arcade game, which I won possibly because of all my experience on the many mighty mopeds we had hired en route. Then we played a decider, a go on the Slap-the-Light game which Liz won! I knew I should not have taken Liz on at a slapping game, women are far too good at that.

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Big numbers, big girls and even bigger entertainment – excellent fun! Puts the Bang in Bangkok, or even the Kok in Bangkok!!!

By this time we had had enough of the mall so we started back but decided to have a bit of a stop at Silom one of the stops on the way back to the hotel. So we decided to finish off with something which is synonymous with Thailand – a massage. We settled on a head, neck and shoulders massage – which left us both feeling somewhat battered and bruised afterwards, do we never ever learn? Okay it is one of those things which everyone does and the whole nation seems to buy in to, so massage parlours are everywhere therefore it is very cheap but weren’t we just paying our money to be brutalised?

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Frankie Boy was surrounded by Tom, Dick and Harry, when he felt a tickle in his ear, which of the three would it be – Tom, Dick or Harry?

We limped off home, yes I realise we did not have our feet or legs done but that was how brutal an experience it had been. At the hotel we rested for a couple of hours then we were back out – in yet another monsoon (is this country trying to tell us something?) – to go to the World Famous Calypso Club to watch a Ladyboy Review. Again, some would say that Ladyboys are synonymous with Thailand, well tonight we hoped we would find out what all the fuss was about. To be fair besides the rain it was an excellent piece of entertainment. First we played ‘Spot-the-Ladyboy’ but here this was easy because all the ‘females’ were ladyboys except the men and some of them we were not sure about. Secondly, the dancing and the routines were good too, even if the lip-syncing was not always spot on it did not matter it was all big numbers and sequins and stuff.

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Everything back in place Beyonce soldiers on. No wonder she is one of the ‘Single Ladies’, I hope it will ‘Hold Up’ ‘All Night’ etc etc …lol! While we nip to the ‘7/11!! ….stop!

Lastly and possibly bestly, Beyonce and to be fair ‘she’ really did look like Beyonce, well she did this ‘slut drop’ type thing as part of the routine and ‘something’ dropped out from the crutch of her little black sexy number. Now in England we have this series called the Inbetweeners, if you have the inclination please look it up. Watch one of the lead guys, Simon being a model on the Catwalk and believe me if you watch it you will get a small taste of what our Beyonce looked like. The whole thing was greatly entertaining, even if it was an accident, Liz was screaming with laughter and although that always makes me laugh so did the show especially Beyonce! it is a rum old thing, some of them make great looking women, others not so but isn’t that true of real life too I suppose! A great way to end off our last day in Asia before we moved on tomorrow.

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And in decreasing order of height ……..

By the time we got back to our hotel we were starving and as the rains had abated slightly we popped to the 7-11 on the corner and treat ourselves to a couple of beers and pasties and crisps, a banquet fit for a couple of Flashpackers like us … lol! Perhaps not the grandest way to finish off our tour of duty of SE Asia but somehow to me it seemed quite fitting

 

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